Unemployed Again

I am once again unemployed. I was working for Netspoke as an independent contractor for the past five months and doing quite well. I got the chance to work from home each day and to collaborate with Andrew remotely. But after completing the project, the Archive Viewer, and having it successfully released to our customers, all new development had been put on hold and so I was no longer needed. Jake called to give me the news, but he did say that he hoped tat sometime in the future they could call on me to help again, moonlight, as it were. I said that I had no problem with that and so we parted, over the phone, on friendly terms.

I have been preoccupied, mentally, these past few days. I’ve been distant, and Sherri has noticed and is worried. We’ve been trying to have a baby. This evening I couldn’t keep an erection but we did manage to make love the last night and a number of time early in the week and the week before. We’re hoping that she’s pregnant this time around…we’ve been using the fertility monitor, which helped out the first time she got pregnant. I don’t let on, but I am very worried about Sherri getting pregnant again. I would certainly hate for her to have to go through the horrendous physical and emotional pain of miscarriage. For me it was bad enough, and while I was with her at all times, I couldn’t imagine the pain, even though I could see it on her face or in her crumpled body as she lay on a hospital gurney in a fetal position, the cramps coming every minute or so.

I am fairly certain that I qualify for unemployment compensation. I’ve spoken now with two people from the PA unemployment compensation department. The first time I called to talk with someone who turned out to be a very nice gentleman. The second was a rather pleasant speaking woman who called me today to get some details that apparently the fellow I spoke with the day before had forgotten to ask me about. Anyway, after answering her questions she said that the computer indicated that I was indeed eligible. Of course with my luck it might turn out completely opposite. We shall see.

With the money I’ll make getting unemployment I can certainly pay the household payment. Sherri’s pay will have to go toward the car and other expenses, and she doesn’t really get much money. I’ve been trying to write some software on my own, some useful things that I might be able to sell online. But I’m not sure yet. I’ve also been tossing around ideas for essays and articles—but although I have this overwhelming desire to become a successful writer, I get blocked the minute I try to think about what it is that I want to write. It’s really fucked up.

To save money, we were thinking about dropping the cable (or just getting the standard cable) and going to DSL (a phone-line alternative to Cable) for our internet hookup. DSL is a lot cheaper than the digital cable. And although Sherri and I enjoy the various channels that only digital television provides, basic cable will gives us the main channels at least and besides, I do more reading or working on this PC than I do actually watching television. I just feel bad for Sherri who really enjoys the television. Still, although we got the complete cable package, I can say that we really only ever use 15, maybe 20% of the thing. What use we get from cable television certainly doesn’t seem to justify the ridiculous cost.